I often feel happy when I feel in control of my life, this includes in control of my dog. I want to know that she is calm, relaxed and responsive to me.
What is even more fascinating to me is that the more the situation feels out of my control the more I “need” to control it.
I will give you an example:
Our dog “Fudge” is an exceptional “early warning dog” this means at the slightest strange sound, doorbell or cat in the garden she will tell me about it. The only way she can do this is by barking, obviously, she’s a dog! Most of the time she will respond well to a simple “thank you” and settle down. Visitors, however, can be more tricky as I can’t “control” their behaviour anymore than I can “control” my dog’s behaviour. We have a solution in this house, when the doorbell rings our dog barks, runs to the door and then to the living room and we then close to the door. This benefits both visitor and dog and allows me to take “control” of the situation again. Great, job done.
What fascinates me however, is what I have a seen all around me recently. I like to call it the chaos theory. Life itself often feels chaotic and by that I mean lots of things seem to happen that I have no control over, I don’t know when the doorbell will ring, I don’t know who is behind the door, I don’t know how that person will behave, I don’t where I or the kids will be when the doorbell rings, I don’t know where Fudge will be. I definitely don’t know what state of mind anyone will be in and therefore how they will react in that moment. Uh oh that is A LOT of what if’s.
This chaos theory seems to be at play everywhere in my life, not just dogs and visitors! At first this seemed quite frightening, “wait a minute if this is really true and I have control over nothing and the chaos theory is all around me. How am I going to “achieve” anything what will become of me……”
I then had the most wonderful insight, this is how life has worked for the last 47 years (yes I just turned 47 – ouch!) I just didn’t notice it and have been constantly trying to control every situation thinking that it’s up to me “control” in order to “achieve” .
What if I didn’t have to control every situation what if, whatever, I am going to achieve next week, next month, next year is going to happen anyway, despite my best efforts at controlling life.
It certainly takes a lot from my “to do” list.
If you would like to know more about how understanding the “Chaos Theory” can help you and your dog find that beautiful space of calm within your relationship. Take a look at my website http://www.juliehelpsyouhelpyourdog.co.uk
Facebook: Julie Cluley, helps you help your dog, Edinburgh.
E-mail me: Juliecluley@juliehelpsyouhelpyourdog.co.uk
There is is a lot less to do than you think.
Peaceful paws always..